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Fiction in Fiction in Fiction

Breathe

Breathe - Abbi Glines Rating: 3.5/5 starsOk so I had really high hopes for this because I liked Just For Now. Imagine the disappointment I felt when I started reading and the good story was ruined by the writing style! The sentences felt too short and the writing unsophisticated. I also found it really hard to believe that Sadie fell in love with Jax THAT quickly.HOWEVER, it did get a lot better after the second half of the book and I mean A LOT better. The story smoothed out, sentences had more a substance to them and I felt like emotions were finally conveyed. For the first half of the book, it didn't feel like a first person point of view, more like some retelling which annoyed me but as I said, this improved with the second half - I could finally feel Sadie's hurt and emotions.*SPOILERS INTERSPERSED WITH REVIEW*Elaborating on my dislike of Sadie's falling in with Jax: it was extremely quick and I was just like how did you go from your heart skipping a few beats at his smile one day to being IN LOVE with Jax after another 2 days? It took her like less than a week to fall in love with him. WTF?! But I guess this was made plausible by his actions like the supermarket-9-year-old-girl scene. Again, this would have been way more believable had everything been expressed and written better!E.g."His fingers never left mine as walked back to the house. The only way to explain it is to say that it was very close to an out of body experience. Holding hands with Jax Stone and feeling we connected. He didn't seem like a rock star anymore. He wasn't the guy I saw on posters and in magazines. He wasn't the hottie I'd seen on MTV. He was just Jax."So um ok I know using short sentences is good for emphasis and that was relevant to the latter of the paragraph but the first bit? I swear there are these things called commas that can be utilised. "Holding hands with Jax Stone and feeling we connected." Um what. That was all there is to explain the "out of body experience"? How about some verbs like "the way his fingers lace through mine made my skin tingle, his long fingers stroking the palm of my hand sent electric currents up my arm and warmed me. That current was like a pull that connected me to him" OR SOMETHING IDK? Because well yeah I had to suffer through paragraphs like that throughout so much of the first half which was why I really didn't connect to Sadie and feel the romance till the second half.Ah now the second half. Heart-wrenching to say the least. The second half was the saving grace of the novel which was good because I'd rather it get better than it start off good and just go downhill. I finally felt more of Jax's emotions for Sadie and could relate to her and heartbreak as well as everything that was going on in her life (YES FEELS!)"I love you more than anyone or anything. You've somehow become the song inside of me. It's because I love you so much I'm going to walk out of your life and allow you to heal and find someone worthy of you..."YES THANK YOU I WAS BEGINNING TO WONDER IF I HAD SOMEHOW BECOME VOID OF EMOTIONS!See the improvement? More descriptive, more heartfelt, more emotions! So yes for me it got a lot better second half onwards and at one point I really teared up and my heart was clenching and I was like "ERMAGHERD JAX!"Character wise I thought Jax was a bit too good to be true/fake at first but I soon realised he really WAS drawn to Sadie's immunity to his stardom. I grew to really love him by the second half (yes always that second half of the book I know) and I found his need to be with Sadie really sweet and romantic.Sadie was annoying at the start because she kept saying how she was so mature (this got really repetitive and I'm just like "OK I GET IT NOW SHOW ME MORE OF HOW YOU'RE SO MATURE") but she seemed really selfish with Jax at times with her jealousy - I'll attribute that to first love and let it slide. I like how she becomes stronger for her mother's birth and finally puts thoughts of Jax aside and she comes out the better person. Now THAT is the maturity I was looking for.Now, Marcus Hardy. YES I LOVE THIS BOY. Here was a character I liked INSTANTLY. As I was reading, I was aware of Because of Low so I had him and Low at the back of my mind but I still really wanted Sadie to pick Marcus at some point in the story. I think it would have been a nice growing up lesson/self-realisation experience for her - how she would feel dating a normal guy as opposed to how she felt about Jax. But alas it didn't happen and the whole time I was thinking "I'LL HAVE YOU MARCUS